A Wounded Animal…Or How to Tell When Someone Has Stopped Listening.

In the spirit of constructive communication and civility, I found this video has some very interesting pointers about how to tell when a discussion is going south…

To sum up: If you want to someone to hear what you are saying, it is importannt to recognise these warning signs that they are shutting down emotionally:

  • #1: Being stunned by new information.
  • #2: Inaccurately summarizing the other’s perspective.
  • #3: Misreading nefarious intent.
  • #4: Regularly moving goalposts.
  • #5: Yelling or getting angry.
  • #6: Attacking someone’s character.
  • #7: Retreating Without Concession

Nothing new here, but many people are not taught how to recognise discomfort in others. And since our culture is becomming more diverse, people are retreating to silence instead of engaging because discussions quickly break down.

Winning The Argument Or Saving the Friendship

Unfortunately, the “solution” offered towards the end of video is helpful if one needs to pursuade one’s oppenent to accept your point, but is not always successful. This is especially true when dealing with deep cultural differences. Conflicts on fundamental values or those which involve group cohesion are not going to be won over by reason alone. For example, you are not going to convince someone to leave their religion just because you have an argument that sounds reasonable. You may be putting the person in a position which will cut this person off from family and/or community ties. Some issues and worldviews run deeper than logic.

Still, the information in this video could save some friendships from completely unraveling. If your oppenent begins to show these signs, it might be time to drop it and get a beer. As this is getting harder and harder to do these days, this might be more valuable than winning the debate.

Reflection: Social Media is an Illusion of Community…

Reflection

Cancel Culture: The Gaming World and The University Connection

Last week I wrote about Cancel Culture: How to build a Tranquil Spirit in a Chaotic world.

This week I came across a couple of new sources for information on just exactly how Cancel Culture affects people. The first video is from the gaming world. If you are not in the gaming world, but have kids, you may find this helpful when discussing the subject with them.

The second video is aimed at the University level and views the same problem through the “Safe Spaces” controversy on university campuses. Although aimed at parents, this is useful information for anyone looking to get a degree. I don’t know when this is going to be available for everyone, but if you google it there are plenty of articles and interviews that are worth investigating.

We need to counter this harmful movement before we find ourselves in a country where we can’t talk freely to each other anymore.

I’m running late this week, so this was a short post.

Until next time. 🙂